My days have been sort of "opening" up months after my break up. When we revolve so much of our lives around our other half, inevitably, we forget to also spend time with ourselves, or worse still, our friends.
Recently, my social life has been packed - happily so. I've made so many new friends, some whom I've grown very fond of. I've also taken the time to catch up with my past.
Gradually so, I find my time increasingly blocked out (a term I learnt at work), and booked up. I had to turn down appointments, schedule my social life a month in advance. I apologetically have to turn away last minute call-ups, or even sheepishly suggest we meet for an hour when others have already cleared the whole day ahead for me.
It's not that I'm in high demand, or have a super fantastic social life. Neither am I popular (oh heaven forbid). However, it's kind of a snowball effect when you start meeting people, and before you know it, people want to meet you. How do we prioritise? I find myself in a position where I would love to meet everyone, but have very little time. I wish my pockets are as deep as time and I wished time was as plentiful as my will.
I also have to constantly remind myself to give time to myself - my "me" time to replenish and recharge. Usually when I feel obligated to meet someone, it's usually a sign that I need time out. It's not necessarily a sign that the person is a bore or a chore, just that I don't have the emotional and mental capacity to deal with him/her today. Battery at 20% doesn't function well.
Time is private and limited, more so if we treat time as currency, to selfishly hoard and traded, we will become more mindful of the things we do and who we do them with. Recently I choose my time with those that rejuvenate me, rather than those that drain.
"Where got time?"
In Mandarin, we say time is "dug out" (抽出来). It's true, time is given, blocked out, offered up because we value something that grows within the time spent with each other. It makes no sense to spend it on people who demand all of it but give nothing in return.
That's what I call a bad investment.
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